Men, what do you do when you are interested in a young lady?
Every man has that girl. Yes, you are totally into this girl. When your mind wanders it usually wanders to thoughts of her. You start rereading text messages she has sent you (yes, we all do.)
How do they do it? None can tell. Yet suddenly iPod playlists include a lot less Lil' Wayne, Dragonforce, and Led Zeppelin and a lot more Boys Like Girls, John Mayer, and Ingrid Michaelson.
Now, let's assume that this young lady isn't sure what to think of her gentleman admirer. You know her. You have been talking; she may like you, she may not.
The fact is, you still have some pursuing to do.
At this point in a relationship, the games are afoot. Let's use the analogy of a foot race, 100m hurdles.
The man now faces two obstacles (I know there are more hurdles in the 100m, but just humor me.)
The first hurdle is the temptation to follow your inclinations. Men, under no circumstances do what you want to do. That has been the death of so many budding relationships. You want to tell this girl how you feel. Don't. You have an innate urge to call/text her every minute of the day. Don't. You want to hang out with her every night of the week. Don't. You cannot seem desperate. *Universal Truth* - Girls hate it when guys are clearly desperate.
The second hurdle is to somehow remain a gentleman at the same time you are ignoring your inclinations. If there is a purpose to this blog, it is to encourage every man to be a gentleman. It's very hard to do though when you are semi-ignoring a woman. You should be nice to her without fawning all over her. Channel your best Clark Gable. Every piece of your being will tell you to flirt with her. You must say no.
*NOTE* When ignoring your inclinations and still being a gentleman, your friends are a valuable resource. They can remind you of the goal when you lose sight of it. They can grab you, shake you until your nose bleeds, and refuse to let you out of the apartment until you clear your head. Friends can also take your phone away - an extreme measure that is sometimes warranted. Bottom line, they can help you when you are weak.
Don't follow your inclinations. Be a gentleman. Rely on your friends.
Remember these tips when you are interested in a young lady, men, and you will succeed.
The only time desperation is hot (from a lady's perspective) is when it takes total guts to follow through and express your interest.
ReplyDeleteFor example:
Approaching a lone girl repeatedly, at the bar, or store, or classroom can be viewed as desperate, creepy, and unwanted.
Approaching the same girl, when surrounded by her girlfriends with competing male attention- now THAT'S where it ceases to be desperate, and is instead interpreted as confident and gutsy.
Avoid the former. Shoot for the latter.
Trust me. I know for personal experience and extensive "girl talks." :)
P.S. DISCLAIMER: some guys will be creepy no matter what they do. There is no cure for that. They just need to invest in some Ax body spray and hope to God that there's a girl out there who desperately wants to register for wedding presents.
This is true 95% of the time. However, bold strokes are sometimes necessary. I once had a mariachi guitarist summon a girl to join me for a candlelit dinner on Valenine's Day.
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