Contact Solution

How did you get here?

All right, breathe.  You’re whipped. That’s right, you’ve fallen head over heels, given up control of your life, and been poisoned like an innocent bystander of a chemical leak. We’ll get you out of here, and make sure that you stay in control next time.

The initial contact was probably innocent, and you were probably naive. This is how it always begins – you meet a girl, strike up a conversation, and make your move. This is your first mistake; never make a move at the first meeting. By letting her know that you are interested, you are opening up Pandora’s box and taking the first step towards getting whipped. Now, I know what you’re thinking, showing interest always shows confidence, right? Wrong.

You need a new contact solution. All the Hollister-clad, Sidekick-toting, long-haired boys at the local outdoor mall have got the old stratagem covered – they are practically begging for attention. As a man you must be mildly indifferent. Keep her in suspense and you’ll keep yourself out of the doghouse. Your chances improve with each second you resist her attempts, and, like every mathematical equation, you will gradually move towards one hundred percent success. However, there are a few rules. Check these out and you’ll be the top dog in little or no time.

1. There are always limits. If you’ve taken calculus, you know that every equation has its limits. By resisting for too long, you take yourself out of her league. She will move on, and you will draw up plans to bomb the offices of the MOTMB. Both cases would be a shame, and we’re rather fond of our respective apartments. Therefore, as you approach the limit, change your tactics. Know when to turn the cold shoulder into a warm and inviting place for her to lay her head.

2. Do not waste your time. While you’re hiding your interest, do not simply do nothing; work on your game, but avoid showing too much interest in other girls (jealousy knows no bounds). Rather get to know the girls she spends her time with. Not only will this give you extra opportunities to spend time with her, but you will get to know her even better than she will let you herself. Build your friend resume, and in turn, her friends will build rapport with your girl.

3. Let your eyes do the talking. Nothing ruins your chances like talking too much. Worse, if you hang on her every word, try to be funny, and text her every time you take out your phone, she will be in control. As a man, you are better than that. Instead, keep the conversations simple, be yourself, and make her text you every once in a while. Finally, if she makes prolonged eye contact in trying to tell what you are thinking, you're one the home stretch.

4. Finally, do not date before you go on a date. If she’s a friend, don’t try to pay for her coffee out of the blue; she’ll be caught off guard. Do it again, and it will become a routine that won’t get you anywhere. Be a gentleman, but if you are going to shell out your hard-earned cash on a regular basis, man up and ask her out.

Relationships are all about partnership. Don’t get your girlfriend’s trust, only to abuse that trust on a regular basis. You wouldn’t want to be whipped for her, and she probably doesn’t want to be whipped for you. Take control of your half of the bargain by following this contact solution and starting the relationship off on the right foot; it’s the first step down a man-approved road.

Godspeed,

MOTMB